Senior Seminar Response

The Senior Seminar at my college was based on World War I, for the most part. The session that I went to had 2 discussions of literature during the time of WWI and a short story based on human genetic engineering. The literature analysis was eye opening as I was not aware of all the social problems between men and women, and problems of the soldiers in the trenches. It makes me wonder about what's going to happen when all the soldiers come back and what problems will arise because of the home fronts ignorance to how the soldiers feel.

The short story was interesting. I liked the fact that it was only when the girl's hormones start acting up that she realizes that their is something wrong with her, and that she needs to figure out what's going on. However, I felt that some things needed to be changed in the short story. Now, I am not an editor, so what I say may be totally wrong. I just felt that the whole "secret" was basically given away, there wasn't really any tension in not knowing what was going on. Maybe if there were more subtle hints rather than giving away cues like being able to hear someone when she shouldn't have. I mean, when she started giving away the cues, I already began forming ideas on what was happening. At first, I'll admit, I thought vampires, but that's because they are is so much going on about them, that it's hard for it to not pop up when there's something strange going on with the character (especially when there's blood, which did happen, she smelt blood, which was what really got me). However, I realized that it couldn't possibly be vampires because they were in an institution, and I really didn't think vampires would go well in a senior seminar. So my next immediate conclusion was, of course, human testing, or, more specific, genetic testing, and that was what was happening. So I think that maybe more subtle cues would be better, but for someone who doesn't know about science fiction or fantasy, maybe that's what they need. 

Another thing is the head of the institute (I'm sorry, I forgot his name). When the doctor says that she needs to get the main character's test results to the head, you think, oh, something's going on, but the warning signals in your mind doesn't go off. I think that more tension could be added if there were rumors about people's papers going to him, and the people were brought to the head of the institute, and they never returned. It would give more of a sense of urgency rather than just a, "oh, this is morally wrong, and we should leave" feel. I think I forgot, but I believe that the two characters, Clayre, the main character, and Scott, have been at the institute all their lives, so the only way I could see them leaving a place that they knew their whole life is if their life is in danger. Obviously, the institute isn't the nicest place, but if you don't know better, then it seems good, and it's comfortable because you are used to it. It seems that even if they are being tested on, they would need more of an incentive to leave the institute than that. 

These are all my observations, and aren't meant to be taken seriously. I just think there was some confusion that could be cleared up. I did like Clayre and Scott. I liked how cheerful Scott was (although it's creepy referring to this character because my brother's name is Scott, and it's just weird...) even though he was living in a very dreary place. 

I thought that this was something very important for me to go to. It shows me want I need to be ready for in about two and a half years.  

100 Poems

This is an assignment for class. I read 100 poems and shall list them here, and I shall discuss 10 of them in greater detail.

1. Carolyn Kizer: "Parent's Pantoum"
2. Lynne McMahon: "Carpe Diem"
3. Billy Collins: "Introduction to Poetry"
4. Gwendolyn Brooks: "We Real Cool"
5. Beth Bachmann: "Colorization"
6. Timothy Liu: "In Hot Pursuit"
7. Peter Meinke: "Atomic Pantoum"
8. Ellen Doré Watson: "Ghazal"
9. Wesli Court: "The Obsession"
10. Dylan Thomas: "Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night"
11. Sharon Olds: "Visiting My Mother's College"
12. David Lehman: "Abecedarius:
13. Diane Wakoski: "Sestina to the Common Glass of Beer: I Do Not Drink Beer"
14. John Yau: "Chinese Villanelle"
15. Gevorg Emin: "The Question Mark"
16. Robert Lowell: "Reading Myself"
17. Elizabeth Bishop: "Brazil, January 1, 1502"
18. Robert Hayden: "Night, Death, Mississippi"
19. Sylvia Plath: "Daddy"
20. Mark Strand: "Where Are the Waters of Childhood?"
21. Theodore Roethke: "In a Dark Time"
22. John Berryman: "The Moon and the Night and the Men"
23. Randall Jarrell: "Cinderella"
24. Robert Penn Warren: "Birth of Love"
25. Charles Olson: "The Kingfishers"
26. Adrienne Rich: "For an Album"
27. J.V. Cunnigham: "To My Wife"
28. Jean Garrigue: "Cracked Looking Glass"
29. May Swenson: "Teleology"
30. Robert Duncan: "Styx"
31. William Meredith: "The Illiterate"
32. Howard Nemerov: "Writing"
33. Richard Wilbur: "Mind"
34. Mona Van Duyn: "Homework"
35. Howard Moss: "Ménage à Trois"
36. James Dickey: "The Heaven of Animals"
37. Anthony Hecht: "A Hill"
38. James Schuyler: "Shimmer"
39. Denise Levertov: "Seeing for a Moment"
40. Richard Hugo: "Degrees of Gray in Philipsburg"
41. Edgar Bowers: "Amor Vincit Omnia"
42. Carolyn Kizer: "A Muse of Water"
43. Donald Justice: "The Evening of the Mind"
44. Frank O'Hara: "Why I Am Not a Painter"
45. David Wagoner: "The Best Slow Dancer"
46. Robert Creeley: "The Rescue"
47. Allen Ginsberg: "My Sad Self" to Frank O'Hara 
48. W.D. Snodgrass: "A Locked House"
49. James Merrill: "A Renewal"
50. W.S. Merwin: "Some Last Questions"
51. A.R. Ammons: "Reflective"
52. John Ashbery: Glauzunoviana"
53. James Wright: "A Blessing"
54. Galway Kinnell: "The Vow"
55. Anne Sexton: "The Room of My Life"
56. Philip Levine: "Rain Downriver"
57. Irving Feldman: "The Dream"
58. John Hollander: "The Night Mirror"
59. Richard Howard: At the Monument to Pierre Louÿs"
60. Gary Snyder: "I Went into the Maverick Bar"
61. Charles Wright: "Clear Night"
62. Audre Lorde: "Movement Song"
63. Mary Oliver: "Hawk"
64. Jay Wright: "The Homecoming Singer"
65. C.K. Williams: "Alzheimer's: The Wife"
66. Charles Simic: "Watermelons"
67. Michael S. Harper: "Nightmare Begins Responsibility"
68. Frank Bidart: "Happy Birthday"
69. Robert Pinsky: "Poem About People"
70. Robert Hass: "Heroic Simile"
71. Amy Clampitt: "Beach Glass"
72. Dave Smith: "Lake Drummond Dream"
73. Marilyn Hacker: "Nights of 1964-66: The Old Reliable"
74. William Matthews: "107th & Amsterdam"
75. Sharon Olds: "The Glass"
76. Louise Glück: "The Garden"
77. Sandra McPherson: "The Microscope in Winter"
78. Michael Palmer: "H"
79. Ellen Bryant Voigt: "Winter Field"
80. Kay Ryan: "A Cat/A Future"
81. Yusef Komunyakaa: "Facing It"
82. Heather McHugh: "Auto"
83. Edward Hirsch: "A Short Lexicon of Torture in the Eighties"
84. Jorie Graham: "San Sepolcro"
85. Robert Frost: "The Road Not Taken"
86. Rita Dove: "Canary"
87. Mark Doty: "Door to the River"
88. Gjertrud Schnackenberg: "Supernatural Love"
89. Henri Cole: "Peonies"
90. Li-Young Lee: "One Heart"
91. Carl Phillips: "Revision"
92. Shel Silverstein: "Invitation"
93. Emily Dickinson: "I Heard a Fly Buzz -- When I Died"
94. Langston Hughes: "Quiet Girl"
95. Maya Angelou: "Phenomenal Woman"
96. James Schuyler: "Sunday"
97. Derek Walcott: "Dark August"
98. Herman Hesse: "On a Journey"
99. Octavio Paz: "Between Going and Staying the Day Wavers"
100. Wislawa Szymborska: "Some Like Poetry"

1. "Introduction to Poetry" by Billy Collins. This poem, I actually am now in love with it because it shows exactly how I used to be, and still am with poetry, however, I am learning to get better at reading them, but still. Anyway, I especially love the last two stanzas: "But all they want to do/ is tie the poem to a chair with rope/ and torture a confession out of it./ They begin beating it with a hose/ to find out what it really means." Oh, yes, I still do this. I want poems to tell me what they are trying to say, and never enjoy the subtleties of what they are trying to whisper to us. It makes me wonder if he has ever taught a high school English class because it seems he really understands what is going on in our minds at that time. I like how he tries to show us how to read a poem, and, yet, his poem is very brusque and straight to the point, but that could just be his style.
2. "Atomic Pantoum" by Peter Meinke. Having looked at the form before reading this, I was really surprised. I thought the whole A, B, C, D, thing meant that the poem was rhyming, but it was actually repeating those lines, and you would think that the poem wouldn't be interesting because it repeated certain lines, but it was actually the repetition that made the poem interesting because that line could mean something completely different in a different stanza. Also, the poem was really interesting, too, it wasn't just the rhyme, I could really see how the repetition really affected the poem, and one of the much repeated lines was "in a chain reaction" and it almost makes me want to cry how truthful and saddening that line is, especially in this poem.
3. "Reading Myself" by Robert Lowell. I find this poem very interesting, although, having read it three times already, I'm still not sure I quite understand it, but that's okay. What I do understand is that he is saying, is he is never finished with his writing. He metaphors his job to that of a bee, and asks is the bee ever finished working, as even when it does make it's required amount of honey, a bear can come along and take it, or destroy it. It causes me to think that even when we think we've done our best work ever, we can still create something that is even better, and should we stop just because we think we've made our best?
4.  "To My Wife" by J.V. Cunningham. I like this poem because it shows how their loved changed as they grew older. It shows that no love remains the same. It's like how many people say now, that the couple's are out of their "honeymoon phase" and that's when people either weather through the troubles or get a divorce. It seems to me, that these two went through the honeymoon stage, and learned to love each other in different ways as they grew older. 
5.  "Writing" by Howard Nemerov. I like this one, and not just because my ambition is to become a writer. I like how he uses different things as writing, such as the ice skater's trail in ice is a history of where the skater has been and what he or she has done. He also remarks on the how we, ourselves, have left our own writings on the earth. For example, we create buildings that reflect of our times, and the slow disappearance of oil and gas from our earth as we use it to fill up our cars, also is a writing of what we have done.
6. "Mind" by Richard Wilbur. I love the metaphor for the mind: a bat. However, to me, it makes perfect sense. Without our five senses, or even if we lost one or two of those senses, our mind would be worthless because we wouldn't be able to make out what we are saying and be able to tell of their sensations in other ways. So without our senses, we would be similar to a bat that couldn't hear. Also, the last two lines are very humorous. "That in the very happiest intellection/ A graceful error may correct the cave."
7. "Ménage à Trois" by Howard Moss. This is a delightful poem about him and two other people letting people who are around them, but don't know them think what they like. He and the other two people have absolutely no sexual relationship to the other, and he even says they do not get along. However, they are the sensation, and people speculate who is sleeping with whom? They keep them guessing. His roommates play along with they're speculation, though, having a squabble outside the door. I found it very amusing. 
8. "Why I Am Not a Painter" by Frank O'Hara. This is another amusing piece or literature, or at least it is to me. In the second stanza, O'Hara tells us about his friends problems with poetry with Sardines. At first he says that he needs the image there, and then later he says that the sardines were too much, and just left the letters. Why it is amusing, though is the third stanza. O'Hara says that when he thinks of the color orange, he write a line about orange, and then has a whole page, and says that there should be so much more, not oranges, but words, and then when he is finished, he realizes that he doesn't even mention an orange, and has twelve poems that he calls Oranges. Just as his friends calls his painting Sardines. 
9. "Reflective" by A.R. Ammons. This poem doesn't have very many words, but it's like a direct hit. It basically says that we all have weeds in ourselves, and why do we judge someone for something that is in all of us?
10. "The Dream" by Irving Feldman. This poem deeply resonates within me because I have been guilty of doing the same thing. It starts off about how he has a dream where someone he loved comes back, and yet, he tells them why couldn't they wait one more day, and then leads into saying how many people ask the same thing of Messiah. He remarks how our "little pleasures so deeply wished./ that Heaven's coming has to seem bad luck". I have to admit that I have thought the very same, how my little pleasure's, like finishing a book series, has caused me to not wish for the Messiah's return. 

Characters and Blogs: How I Learn From Them

Right now, I'm sick. My eyes are really tired, and the screen is looking blurry. Of course, the sickness added into the fact that I read a really, hmm, not sad, per se, but painful, I suppose, book. It's called The Red Tent by Anita Diamant. I read it for English 416 class, aka, literature for young adults (which I'm really loving, I love young adult books!), anyway, so I was bawling my eyes out. Well, okay, I wasn't that extreme, but I must admit some small sobs did escape me, so I'm glad I was alone at the time. Now, just so you know, I don't cry during every book or at every sappy scene, I'm a bit of a cynic, but you'll just have to trust me on that.

Anyway, so this book is about Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah in the bible. At first, her life doesn't seem so terrible, despite the fact that they don't have any indoor plumbing, or an actual house for that matter, but that's not what the author focused on anyway. This story is about Dinah, whose voice goes unheard in the Bible. There was one act of violence in her life, a huge act of violence, and her life is changed forever. Her story is so painful, it's sad. This is what has me crying in about the last fifty pages. Her life has had so many painful things, and she dies happy. No, no, that's not right. I suppose I have to tell you a little about Dinah, herself. Dinah is the daughter of four different mothers, and she gains something from each one. She heard stories about their lives since she was born that she isn't even sure if her first memories are her own.

You would think that a girl like her would have some personality problems, or wouldn't have her own voice in this story with four different mothers and multitudes of brothers, but her voice is soothing, and she recalls each memory with the emotion that each deserve. The love that is shown within the family before the violent act is soothing and calm. Like being wrapped in your mother's arms, which is what I suppose the author wanted you to feel. Then the violent act and all the things that go wrong in her life after it happens. It's so painful because you, the reader, know, that this was something that is plausible, but because we see the outcome of the whole thing we find it so stupid because by the time that violent act happens, we already feel like we are a part of Dinah, and we only want what's best for her, but that's not how it goes and humans are greedy.

So, after this violent act things happen to Dinah that are painful on multitudes of different levels. We feel her pain and her sadness at each thing, yet she doesn't let the pain get to her. She doesn't put on fake bubbliness and pretend nothing bad never happens, no, she faces it by letting it move through her, recognizing it, and learning from what happens and begins to make her own happiness. This doesn't happen all at once, rather it takes her until she's too old to bear children to get through it completely, and find happiness. In the last fifty pages, it seems like all the things that made her unhappy or sad or angry come back, but she doesn't take revenge, neither does she make everything seem happy and like nothing bad ever happens. She lived through it, she knows what happened, and she understands how it happens, and she's willing to let things go and make the best of what she has. I don't know what it is, but the last fifty pages are so painful and insightful and somewhat sad.

Anyway, I guess what I'm getting at is that this story affects the way you look at things, and maybe not just things, but people. Everyone has their bad things, but seeing Dinah growing up, and wishing for things, and not get everything she wants, and yet ending up happy is something that I believe everyone should learn. Not getting everything you want isn't bad, and it can change you for the better. I'm sure if the violent act hadn't happened Dinah would have gotten everything she wanted, but she might not have been as happy or as peaceful as she'd been with the life she had gotten.

Anyway, this story has just stuck with me even though it's been hours since I finished it, and I've done a bunch of things since reading it, but I don't believe it'll be leaving my thoughts for a while (especially since I have a paper due on it next week).

I suppose I wanted to go from writing about my learnings in the book to something I'm learning right now from the blog posts I've read this past week, however, I got sidetracked.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately that talk about your passions, and figuring out what your passions are, and etcetera. From what I've learned, passions aren't something that comes with you when you are born, you have to create your own passions. I realized that the only thing I'm passionate about is reading. It's something I've mastered, almost. I don't know how you would determine when someone is a master of reading, how you would measure that, but I consider loving to read and willingness to read even when there are other things to do (like watch TV, which I actually don't watch that much anymore, except for House. I just love his character.). I think I've been trying to find other passions since eleventh grade when one of my English teachers asked me if I could write about something other than books, please? It struck a chord because books were my love, my joy. If anyone said anything badly about my books, I would begin to see them in a different light. Sadly, my mother had once made a mention that I should sell some of my books that I don't read so often, and I was completely shocked. Which I couldn't figure out why until a week later when I realized that I thought my mother knew how much they meant to me, and that just mentioning of getting rid of a few showed that she really didn't understand my passion, completely. She liked a good book, too, and so did my father, just not as much as I did.

So, anyway, around that time I began to think of what else I was good at, but I couldn't think of anything, really, and I was one of those people who figured it would come to me sooner or later. However, it wasn't until last year that I looked back to when I was younger and loved to draw, and then I started to draw a lot more. I realized that while I had thought I was okay, and I was, I mean, you could tell I was drawing a person, but I joined an online community of drawers, and realized I wasn't even half as good as some people my age were, and I began to draw a lot more seriously. I think that drawing could become a passion, if I continue practicing.

It also wasn't until last semester when I had absolutely not English classes that I realized I wanted to write. When I was younger I had a bunch of start up novels that were spur of the moment things, but because I never really got into them, and would only write when I had a great idea, I stopped putting my ideas down and only wrote when I had to. During the summer last year, I had an idea that while I may not be able to complete a novel, I could at least try a short story, which I used to think were ridiculous. How could it be a good story if it was short? I used to wonder. However, I really liked it. I wrote two during the summer during times of inspiration. One, I actually edited, but I think that it deserves some more editing since I took my English 204 class, and one is a really, really rough draft. Like drawing, I think writing will become a passion if I begin to write more often.

I think I just need to go to bed earlier, and not procrastinate my homework, so I can get up in the morning and write for 20 minutes a day (and, you know, fit in exercising into that plan, too.). I just need to learn to work harder and with more focus on my homework during the day so I won't have to worry about it later in the day. And so I don't get sick from stressing out about three papers in one week (of course, it didn't help standing outside for an hour in 40 degree weather in a light jacket.).

I'm happy, though. I'm realizing that I need to make some changes and that the only way to do that is to be the change I want to see. It helps living with someone as hard of a worker as the lady I'm living with. She asks me, "How's the homework going?" and things of that sort, so I feel guilty when I'm not doing my homework and surfing the net. I admire her very much, especially when she goes to bed later than me, and wakes up before me, I wish to be more like her, and Dinah, but not quite like them. I like my quirkiness.

The Play

I finished the first rough draft of my play a few hours ago. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, considering I haven't read a lot of plays. Although it's still a rough draft, and I'm sure it could use a lot of improvement. 

I don't think I had a writers block, though. I think it was more like I couldn't figure out the story, and didn't know what kind of story would fit a ten minute play, so I read some ten minute plays online, and I finally got an idea. I really liked this play: Sun Dried. It really appealed to me as a writer because it was about a struggling writer. I was surprised by how much you could get out of a ten minute play, although I really shouldn't have been. I mean, they're really like short stories, but with more action and stuff going on. There isn't as much info given, and what information is given, is given through word of mouth. 

I think what really helped me get into writing this, is knowing a little of my characters. A person might think this is obvious, but it's really not when you're trying to figure out a plot. When you are writing about a plot, all you're thinking about is how a character goes from point A to point B. Like Justine Lee Musk (creator of the blog Tribal Writer) says in her post theme, Theme, your writing and you: stuff your teacher never told you  that 

"If premise is the world of your story, and plot is the road that guides you through it — weaves you over the mountains and through the desert and finally to the relief of the coast — then you might say that theme is the car you’re traveling in."

Having a character is like having a driver, in this metaphor, the character is what leads you through this road called plot. 

Once I knew the name of one of my characters, I could finally piece together my story by letting them take the lead, by letting them react together, and that really helped me out with this piece.

I also have to give some credit to my sister-in-law, she's going into forensics, or something like that, and I had to ask her for ideas as to how my characters could rob a bank without being extremely conspicuous. I felt like a real author when I did that because I know authors have people they have to ask questions so that their stories can be as real as possible. (Funny, I was actually thinking of my play being about a writer who joins up with a bank robber to get a real life experience on how a person robs a bank for his story, but I decided against it because it seemed too surreal.)

Although, I still have some questions about my characters. Like with my girl character, Jade. I couldn't figure out if she was just acting pitiful because she noticed my WOMAN character was the police, or if robbing a bank really affected her, and she was breaking down. I do know Nick, the teen that joined Jade, was getting more frustrated as the story went on. He really didn't want to be there, robbing a bank, but hmmm, he loves Jade. Not in a romantic way, more like in an extreme friendshippy way. He would die for Jade, and not regret it, and Jade does take advantage of this sometimes, for example, robbing the bank. He even says a curse word during the story, and I was going to go for the worst of the worst, like I was really into him, and I was about to write exactly what he would have said, but I don't use curse words in real life, so I try to keep them out of my characters mouths, but in this case, I think the situation needed a curse word. 

Writing Block

It's been a while since I've posted, and I really have no excuse except procrastination. However, this weekend I am so getting a routine going because I cannot continue winging it what with all the school work and things that I want to get better at, like writing, and drawing, and things I want to do like read for fun and not for school (although I don't mind that too much, I just don't have time!). Anyway, I'm done with my little rant.


So, I think I'm going through a writer's block now. That's never happened to me before, but then again most of the time I used to write just for fun and whenever I felt like. Even when I was writing for fun, I never created a routine and I never wrote every single day. In fact, it was more like I would write on one day, be surprised at how much I wrote (maybe, maybe not), and never pick up that writing again. Now, though, I have a paper due each week, and while I don't ever really get writer's blocks with research papers and the like, I'm also taking a class on creative writing, and that's where the block comes in. 


Because I can write about almost anything it's hard to come up with an idea. Plus, we are also writing a 10-minute play, which I have no clue how to write, but I am doing research on it! Anyway, the first two papers, I didn't have much trouble with because they were in story format, which, because I read a lot, I have that format down pretty much (I mean, I'm sure I have lots to improve upon, but I know how that format works.), but I don't read a lot of plays. In fact, the only plays I have ever read were Romeo and Juliet and Caesar, and those were for school. The only play I have ever seen was Shepherd of the Hills. I don't have anything against plays (or poetry for that matter), I just prefer reading a novel over a play (and I'm still working on the whole understanding poetry part). 


Another thing, it was also easier for me to write our first fiction short story is because I'd already been toying with that story idea. I hadn't written it down, but I already knew what I was going to write about, and the biography writing was, obviously, pretty easy once I figured out what memory I was going to write about. I know I have some ideas that I would gather like, "Oh, that would make for a great character," etcetera, but I don't have a plot idea. At all. My professor had us be in groups and come up with a thing like setting, theme, etc. and our group came up with a bank robbery. Which is a fun idea, but I have no clue what my plot is going to be, and that's why I think I have writer's block. It may help to start writing some things day, and maybe get some character backgrounds and the like, but I'm really worried about this paper. I mean, I'm worried about the poetry, too, but at least I know some poetry things like limerick, haiku, and rhyme, but I have no background knowledge of plays, so I'm concerned. 


Anyway, I better go and start plotting out some ideas. 

Day Three: Imagery, Character Profiles, and Revision

"Before you write, every single time, be securely in the moment you are writing. Know exactly where your character/self is in time and space," from The Practice of Creative Writing page 109. 

This has to be one of my favorite quotes in the chapter of images in the afore mentioned book. It helps me stay focus on the images that I want to create rather than the thoughts going into the images. I've noticed in my creative writing that I add in too much thought. I second guess myself, which isn't good because the readers will start to second guess the book and the image that they are trying to create. It doesn't create a smooth ride for the readers if they have to think about the writing and think about what's being said. One of my favorite quotes ever is, "When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing."  ~Enrique Jardiel Poncela. 


This quote says how much work is put into writing and when something can be read without effort, you can tell that the writer cared very much about their writing. This is the kind of writing I hope I'll be able to do, in the future. 


Yet, one of the things I'm most unsure of is character profiles. I can understand the need to put height, weight, hair color, and eye color, I mean, I even do sketches of my characters to get a feel for them (albeit the drawings really aren't that great) and I may put in some background, so I can see where my characters are coming from. My problem, though, is going into detail on your character when all you want is a small summary. I think that if you go into too much detail on your character you'll loose any wiggle room for them to  run wild with. Besides, how are you going to develop your characters if you have all of their personalities written down to a T? 
If you already know exactly how they act and don't allow them to go outside that little box then your characters are probably going to get boring after a while. Even on cartoon shows that run for seasons, you can see some development of character (unless it's Spongebob, I don't think he has every really developed). What I'm getting at, is even when you're 90 years old, your personality could change within a year if the right circumstances were put upon you, so why can't a 15, 21, 30, 45, 57 year old change in a believable way?


Revision can be fun sometimes. If you really enjoy the story you've written and think that it's one of the best you've written. Yet, it can be hard. This first paper for my class I've completely rewrote 3 times, and I wasn't happy with it until the third paper. My first paper was too whimsical, it wasn't concrete, and there were a lot of thoughts in it rather than images. I didn't leap, I just wrote it straight through. 
My second draft was after I talked to my professor about the first. I didn't care for it too much because it was too factual. The whole time I was writing it, I was wondering where I could put in my own imagination, and kept backing away from adding anything in. I think that while I barely remember this story besides the fact that it was really factual, it was really helpful in creating a concrete basis in my story. 
I started off my third draft very awkwardly, kind of similar to my second draft, but I stopped writing it when I realized that it wasn't image based, but thought based. I don't know what happened during that time either, but I suddenly got an image, or an idea (my book prefers image over idea because image is imagination based, and idea is though based, and it doesn't like wordy thoughts) of my main characters father being in the tavern where the catalyst happens. I was very happy with the turnout of that image, and starting off my story with a nice image is a great way to keep a story more image base because you're always referring back to that image at the start. If you start with an image and slowly go towards a more thought based story, it doesn't seem to hold together as well. At least that's what I believe.
Also, readers can tell when an author has gone through a lot of work to make a novel easy to read, although I don't think they know it when they first read it if it's really good, but a reader can tell when a story isn't quite right. Plus, it takes time to get a following of readers, with everything, not just publishing. We can't all be one hit wonders, and I personally would rather not be a one hit wonder. Revision isn't just something that can be tagged at the end of a story as a to do. It should be something thought provoking. Revision should get your mind working, figuring out what works, and what doesn't in a story. If stories didn't rely on revision, then many books would not still be around because they wouldn't have been as good, no matter how unique and well thought out the story is.   

Day Two: The Second Draft

I went to see my professor today, and he gave me some good advice. I didn't make my story concrete enough for my readers to be able to see the story. He told me that if I added things like events, places that people could see, that it would be better, and that I should research about it.

It's odd. Most people think that writer's can create things from the top of their heads and make it all factual and sound great, but in fact they have to research, a lot. I didn't know this until I read a manga comic that was suppose to help beginning mangakas with their stories. You might be thinking, but that's manga, it's not even from America. But just because it's manga doesn't mean that they don't put in as much time and thought as an actual writer. Some have to research even more than a writer because they have to also draw the pictures, but I digress.

Writer's have a responsibility to their readers to make their world just as real as it possibly can be, even if it's in another universe. In an alternate universe you still can't have a person to be able to walk 30 miles in a day, unless they have 7 league boots, but that's another story (Howl's Moving Castle, in fact).

 Anyway, so after I researched the time of Charles the II a little, I wrote up my second draft. It's almost the complete opposite of my first draft. I didn't think to ask him, but now I've been wondering if even if you are making it somewhat historically correct (like setting, place, battles) does it have to be completely correct? In my other draft, I had the main character interacting with a king of an alternate universe, but now that character (a little different now, too) doesn't have to be close to the king. Really, all she's trying to do is get into the war to prove that women are just as capable of fighting as men, but does everything have to be historically correct? I mean, once Charles the II is enthroned there are no more wars. So do I even need this part of history? Can I have my own world that's just taking place during this time in our world? (17th century, if you're curious, but don't want to search Charles the II on Google)

In my original story, I wanted them to capture a duke's son who is neutral to whatever war is going on, and realizing that, they want to release them, but realize they could get some money out of this duke if they ransom the son. (They were a rebellion. They don't get much money, if they don't have a lot of supporters.) In the end, the duke's son is actually interested in the rebellion and decides to join, so the rebellion takes the money and keeps the son (I know, aren't they terrible! That duke is going to start a terrible rumor about them, and make all the other nobility iffy about helping the rebellion out.) In the other one, I'd even had a pretty good plot line going on.

The current ruler of the nation that rebellion is fighting against is actually an insubordinate of another country, whose ruler is patient as well as smart (a terrible, terrible combination). He gets his insubordinate to let the country fall to rambles so that when he comes to conquer this country, everyone would think he was saving them from a terrible king. The rebellion obviously doesn't know about this, so when the other land starts attacking this one after they had started their own war, it completely surprises them.

I thought it was an interesting storyline, but how am I to fit it in if I'm trying to make it historically correct? I've seen other authors do it pretty well. Create their own story line and make it (somewhat) historically correct, but I don't have any of those books on me, and I don't know any other way to figure out how to do it.

Day One

In class today we had to bring a rough draft of our first paper. I didn't know that it had to be a maximum of five pages, and I had eight, but that's okay. It's easier to cut things out (sometimes) than it is to add things in without sounding like you're just BSing it.

Our professor had us group up with a partner. I tend to be on the shy side of things, so he had to set up a partner for me, but it was all good, and I even saw her later today in front of the language tutoring lab. She forgot her paper, but had her plotting paper with her, so I added in some things on her paper. It's a ghost story, and it sounds really interesting. She said there was some trauma that was in the family, and I wrote down different ways that the trauma could affect the family. I hope it was useful.

She said that my story sounded interesting, and I was happy, but while I had described the places and scenes, she said she wanted to know more about how the characters looked. Whoops. I tend to like to draw out what my characters look like, and because I have that image in my mind I tend to forget to write in a description of my characters. Also, sometimes it feels awkward writing a description of my protagonist. I don't want it to be like a list of attributes, kind of like you write in a journal, "oh I have blue eyes, brunette hair, I'm 5' 3.5" and I hate oranges." (For the most part that's me, except the oranges part. I like them.) So, I don't want to list out what my character looks like, but I have to describe her somehow. Hmmm. I mean with the other character, it's not that hard. My protagonist can describe him in different ways like, "She glared into his dark brown eyes" and "She watched that bob of brunette hair from her peripheral vision as she took down one of the robbers" and "She pushed his slight figure out of the way of the kicking horse." I was going to say short, hehehe, but then I remembered that he's only like an inch or two shorter than she is, but he's going to hate that. He's the king, he shouldn't be shorter than his guard. Or maybe he should be. It makes the guard look better.

And, Argh! I hate conclusions, for the most part. Like some of the stories I write, I'm writing towards that situation. Like the one I wrote over the summer about how a woman is haunted by a dead stalker, and in the end she dies in the same spot he did. Or maybe it's the fact that she died. It's almost always easy to conclude with the death of a protagonist. I mean, after the protagonist dies what else can an author do? It's not like anything of interest to the reader is going on.

Anyway, getting off track here. So, my conclusion ended in some weird, that so doesn't sound like a solid conclusion type of conclusion. It reminds me of my Public Speaking class. I had a few speeches where I would end with a kind of non conclusive word, and kind of flounder my arms in an attempt to make it known that I was done. That's how I feel my ending is like.

Huh, I was just thinking how sometimes in a story you end as you began. So my story began with her jumping from tree limbs in search of the kings camp, so maybe I could end with them walking back into the camp? But, she's injured, oh, wait, that'd be cool. She starts above the ground free because she hadn't found the king yet, but now she is bound by her promise to her father, and bound to the king, who is bound to the land.

Awww, poor Mia. Of course, if she hadn't made that promise she would be married and having her fourth child by now. Instead, she's a totally awesome ninja, navigator, commander, jack of all trades kind of woman, and a master in each area. I think that sounds so much cooler than being married and having kids, although I wouldn't mind it. Hey, that'd be kind of interesting. I mean, this is just a short story, but it was part of a bigger, probably novel like idea, but I was thinking if I did start writing it, I could create a character that is married and has four children and pregnant with another baby to, um, contrast to Mia, who is "anything the kind needs her to be." She could even have long blonde hair and brown eyes and is short to contrast even more with Mia.

So that's day one as a beginning writer. Interesting.